Leaving work to go off on maternity leave was a strange feeling. For 15 years, Monday – Friday, I had got the train into London, worked my eight hours, and then got the train home again! That was my 9-5 work life since I had left university. And then it all changed.
On that last day before my maternity leave began, I carried my cards and gifts home on the train. I was looking forward to spending the next three weeks nesting, relaxing, and anticipating play dates and baby cuddles for the year.
The newborn stage
Lenny arrived on the 17th January, four days after his due date, and he was gorgeous! Lying there, just after he was born with him on my chest felt so surreal. It was bliss.
The next four weeks I can only describe as an absolute blur. We had a rough start which meant we both had to stay in the hospital for five days after Lenny was born. This actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I managed to get LOTS of help with breastfeeding. Without that help I am not sure if our feeding journey would have had the same outcome. After five days, we were allowed home and trusted to figure the rest out for ourselves!
Sleepless nights
Nothing had prepared me for the fact that Lenny did not sleep at night for the first four weeks of his life. It led to me being anxious about night times. I bought a thousand different dummies, put a T shirt smelling of me in his cot, and tried all the tricks in the book.
Just as I was on the edge, thinking I couldn’t take anymore, he started to sleep in two hour stints during the night. I was so happy (never did I think that sleeping for two hours straight would be the dream at that point!). Slowly but surely, it became manageable and honestly, once the shock to the system wore off a bit, I just got used to broken sleep.
Finding our rhythm
After around eight weeks, things started to settle. Lenny was sleeping for two/three hour periods during the night, his feeding settled, and I started to relax into it a little more. Don’t get me wrong, I still found myself googling ‘when does it get easier?’ during the night and I told myself I was never having another baby, but things were becoming a more familiar.
Getting out to baby classes
Along with my antenatal friends, we started to enjoy coffee dates and started booking ourselves onto baby classes – Basking Babies being one! It was the perfect first class to start with. Baby massage was relaxing, informative, with no pressure, and Lenny really enjoyed it!
I finally felt ready to venture out into the 9-5 mummy/baby realm. It’s a weird thought, but I had hardly seen my local town during the week before. During maternity leave, I got to try out coffee shops that I never even knew were just a five minute walk away!
Now I was fully emersed in my role as Mummy, the weather started improving and it’s amazing what a little sun can do. I started to find my feet. I packed my weeks with play dates and baby classes, and enjoyed some rest days in between. Some days all I could muster was to chill and nap at home – just me and Lenny. Other days I needed to be around people and get out the house. Making sure I had a good mix of both was key for me.
Introducing solids
All of a sudden, seemingly in a blink of eye, Lenny turned 6 months and it was time to start him on solids! The weaning journey was interesting. I found it fun and frustrating all at once. Was I doing it right? Should I do baby-led or traditional weaning? How much milk should I give him alongside his food? The gagging! Why won’t he eat what I had spent ages cooking up for him? Arghh!
It was however amazing seeing him try his first flavours. Armed with a Daisy First Aid course, a Happy Tums weaning course, and lots of bibs and a mat for the floor, we navigated through it all.
On the move
Lenny started sitting and crawling at around seven months, again an up-and-down ride! The constant wondering of when is it ‘normal’ for them to start reaching key milestones, was soon replaced with realising that babies will do it in their own time.
All of a sudden he was becoming a little character of his own. How had we gone from him being a newborn to this? Where had that time gone? Now I couldn’t leave him one spot as I bought guards for all of the kitchen doors and moved anything he could reach off the shelves.
The end of maternity leave
Before I knew it, I was coming to the end of my maternity leave. Just as I was getting used to it all, getting a bit more sleep, enjoying it! Coming from the start of my maternity when I dreamt of being able to leave my baby with someone else for more than half hour, I now had to leave him in the care of his nursery for a full day. The thought now filled me with sadness that our maternity ride together had come to an end, in the blink of an eye!
Becoming a parent is a rollercoaster but totally worth it! Here is what I learnt and my advice for that precious maternity time…
- It can start off tough – you and your little one need to adjust and get to know each other in this time
- Sleep deprivation is really hard
- You’ll question most things, but then start to trust your instincts, as you learn together
- Every stage passes – it won’t last forever
- Plan your week, but also know it is okay if you need to change those plans
- A lot of how you feel, other mums will be feeling too and it really helps to talk
- Babies will do things in their own time
Ultimately, it’s one heck of a ride. Some weeks are slow, some will go by in a flash. Some weeks you’ll feel like you’re winning at mum life, others you’ll struggle. There will be sleep-deprived lows, and excited heart-bursting highs.
This is your journey together and know you are doing an amazing job, whatever the twist and turns.
