I don’t think mum guilt ever really leaves you.
It just… changes shape.
Some days it’s loud.
Some days it sits quietly in the background.
But it’s always there in some form, whispering, “You could be doing more.”
I used to live a completely different life
Before my boys, I had a high-flying corporate career.
Long days, travelling the world, big meetings, big decisions.
I worked hard to get there, and I was proud of it.
When I had my first baby, I thought I’d just go back.
Pick up where I left off.
Be that mum who does both.
But the reality hit me quickly...
Dropping him off at childcare early in the morning.
Missing bath time some nights.
Being asked to travel again when my heart just wasn’t in it anymore.
When I was at work, all I could think about was how much I was missing.
When I was at home, all I could think about was the work I wasn’t doing.
I felt like I was failing in both places.
So I overcompensated. Toys. Days out. Treats.
Anything to make them smile.
Anything to make me feel like I was making up for something.
And still, it never felt like enough.
Eventually, it all caught up with us.
We were exhausted.
Living for weekends.
Trying to cram “quality time” into two days.
We felt like ships passing each other.
And I remember thinking, "This isn’t the life I imagined."
So I made a change
I stepped away from that career and built something new with Basking Babies, something I truly believe in.
And now? I am more present.
School pick-ups.
Flexible days.
More time around them.
But here’s the honest part… I’m still not always present.
Running a business is hard work. Messages. Planning. Filling classes. Finances. Admin.
It doesn’t switch off.
So even when I’m there, sometimes my mind isn’t.
I'm at the start of my franchising journey, so things look a little different for us right now.
We’re more mindful with spending and don’t do as many big days out.
Sometimes...
... it’s McDonald’s for dinner because I just don’t have the energy to fight it.
Sometimes I lose my patience quicker than I’d like.
And dinner times in our house? Chaos.
“Sit down.”
“Eat your dinner.”
“Stop drinking your drink or you won’t eat anything…”
On repeat.
And then there are the moments where I say,
“Just give me one minute…” only to hear my 3-year-old say it back to me later.
That one stings.
And here’s another truth.
I don’t love playing.
There, I said it.
Arts and crafts? Yes.
Messy play? Fine.
Being outside? Love it.
But sitting on the floor playing figures?
I just don’t have the imagination for it, and somehow I always end up doing it “wrong”.
That used to make me feel like I wasn’t a “fun” mum.
I always thought I’d be calm.
That I’d just know what to do.
In reality?
I get overstimulated so quickly.
Noise + touch + everything at once… it can be a lot.
And yet, this weekend we’re going away in a caravan.
Loud, busy, far from “Instagram perfect”.
Swimming. Shows. Soft play.
Years ago, I wouldn’t have even considered it a holiday.
But the boys?
They absolutely love it.
And seeing their faces light up. That’s everything.
So what is “doing enough”?
Honestly, I don’t have the answer.
It’s something I still battle with.
Because no matter what we’re doing, we always seem to focus on what we’re not doing.
Working? You should be home more.
At home? You should be doing more.
Resting? You should be productive.
Doing something for yourself? You should feel guilty.
It’s exhausting.
And social media doesn’t help.
The activities. The routines. The perfect days out.
But I promise you this
Every single mum you’re comparing yourself to has had the same thoughts as you.
We’re all just trying to do better, and somewhere along the way, that turns into feeling like we’re not doing enough.
What I’ve learned - through my own journey, and through the hundreds of mums I meet in my classes - is this...
Your baby doesn’t need perfection.
They need you.
To feel seen.
To feel heard.
To feel loved.
That’s it.
I see it every week.
Mums apologising when their baby cries.
Saying “sorry” if they’re late.
Worrying they’re not doing the massage “right”.
And I always think the same thing…You’re doing exactly what your baby needs.
If there’s one thing I want every mum to know, it’s this:
There is no right way to do this.
Some days you’ll feel like you’ve got it together.
Other days you’ll feel like you’re winging it.
Most of the time? It’s a bit of both.
And that’s okay.
The very fact you’re asking, “am I doing enough?”, means you already are.
