Earlier this week, we caught up with life coach Michelle Cole for her advice on taking the pressure off ourselves as parents.
A big word that can convey so much.
In life we sometimes try to live up to the expectations of our parents, the expectations of our employers – scared to disappoint and scared of the repercussions. Yet, perhaps the most harmful of expectations in life are those that we put upon ourselves.
Living in a world fuelled by social media posts and comments we often feel the need to not only live up to but to exceed what we see online in terms of ‘parenting’ and the idea of childhood. Maybe more so now that we are in the middle of the summer holidays. I don’t know about you but my Instagram feeds are full of families ‘living their best lives’ and children out and about in glamorous locations.
A long time ago I decided that it was important to be true to myself as a parent. I wasn’t going to break my neck trying to live ‘the perfect life’. It is simply ‘what is’. Some days we will appear as a very well put together family with hair and teeth properly brushed and not a stain to be seen. Whilst on other days you will find us at home still in our pyjamas past lunchtime.
Now, I’m not going to lie – I do want my child to look well cared for and looked after. I hate that she has stained her newest dress with tomato soup and whilst I may be a little disappointed, I am also learning to let it go and accept that some stains will come out easily and others won’t. Just like her memories. There are those that my little one will remember and others that I don’t want her to hold onto. I don’t want her to sit and worry that she’s in trouble for staining her newest (my most favourite) dress. I want her to be able to wear that dress and feel like a princess over and over again as she twirls for the hundredth time – despite the stains.
You see, children don’t tend to care about stains and dirt as we do. They are too busy having fun, the fun childhood that you wanted them to have. So, let them run through the puddles and run around with chocolate stained mouths. It is perfectly ok.
Don’t be afraid to let children be children and let yourself be the less uptight version of you, who may have just lost their way amongst all of the dirty clothes and stain remover.
Yes – parenting has changed since we were young and the expectations parents now place on themselves is immense. But remember to stop and think about the parent that you wanted to be before all of the pressures, demands and Instagram posts took over our lives. Go back to that place. It’s still there, most definitely within your reach.
To discuss this further or to find out how coaching could help you please message me on Instagram.